Happy New Year. Be blessed and be a blessing!

Saturday, November 24, 2007


How Great is Campus Alive

By Helen Pang

Coming to the end of CA, it was really hard for me to say goodbye to CA. Quite reluctant for CA has always been my source of motivation. Whenever I was troubled with disappointments, CA has always been there for me to comfort and console me. I am just a small potato, but deep within I was really grateful to have CA as my companion all this while. Glancing back the past memories with CA, many thoughts had flashed one by one in mind……
CA was something new and strange to me, when I first stepped in INTEC. I never knew what was cell group or Campus Alive. I was alone, alone in the midst of people I did not know. In fact, I did not enjoy myself in the first semester, which should be the honey moon for most of the students. It was a tough and challenging period for me. Maybe CA does not know that he has healed my deep wound, a bottomless cut that people never know. I took a long time to recover from the pain.

My heart was bleeding when I first knew my parents’ decision – to divorce. I could never believe that it
would happen to me. Flabbergasted yet disappointed, I had to receive this decision. I did not know how much tears I had for countless night. Deepest apologies I would like to express to Patricia and Shiau Hooi, my ex-room mates for my weird behaviour at this period. I wonder which child on this earth does not hope for a complete and happy family. Which child would like to see the separation of the parents? I wonder, why they have to be so cruel to me, especially I am in the transition period from secondary school to university level? No one is there to accompany me, but only CA. Because of this, I was interpreted as someone weird and unfriendly. It was indeed tougher when I kept everything to myself, not revealing single news to my friends about this. Maybe they ask why I was so foolish. As a child and a sister in the family, my thoughts were simple – to protect everyone in the family. Which child hopes to see their family’s members being insulted? As a result, I carried all the burdens myself, never knew how to resolve them. The consequence was rather disastrous; especially my performance in academic had gone downhill. People never understand why I was so hard-working all the while? I was not in reality, but just to keep myself busy and away from the negative thoughts, that always distracted me.

I never knew how great God’s love for me is. As the time passes, He has healed me, thoroughly and amazingly. I never knew how, but His methods were unpredictable. After much pain and isolation from friends, I saw his vision one day in my dream. Astoundingly, the dream is still fresh in mind, though I had the vision a year ago. I saw a superb and big church with a pool surrounded by flowers in the middle. Two beams of light were striking from the pool, if I am not mistaken; the colours were white and red. I saw people rising up from the pool, cleansed. The whole dream gave me a sense of forgiving, which is still very strong deep within me till today – Forgive. God is indeed amazing. I gained my encouragement to move on finally after the marvelous dream I had that night. Most importantly, it was CA who brought me out of my past, out of my black shadow.

I could never understand how deep God’s love for human being is. I could never imagine that I can be part of a new church, a place where I yearns to go every Sunday. My parents were against my decision to join a Christian church initially. Many conflicts were going on because of my firm stand to join the new church. God is indeed great when my mother finally joined the church last week and my brother starts learning drum in the church. He has given more than I expect when my mother starts reading bible every morning. As I was pondering, the song “How Great is Our God” was echoing in my ears…..

“How great is our God,
Sing with me, how great is our God…..”

I never want to blame anyone for the pain I have to undergo. In fact, I was grateful because through all the challenges, I am brought to Him. Most importantly, He taught me to appreciate, to love and to forgive people surrounding me. From a person who did not know how to pray to a person who can pray for others, I could never estimate how great the impact God has left in my life via CA. He also gave me a heart of compassion for people in need, especially homeless children and people who are always forgotten in the community. It was hard to walk out of this shadow, but with His guidance and love, I managed to do it. I really hope that one day I could have the opportunity to work in world humanitarian centre founded by Jimmy Chater to serve the people in need around the world. I believe that there are a lot of people outside who are much more unlucky than me. Above all these, I would like to express my utmost appreciation towards CA, for bringing such a marvelous change in my life. CA rocks!!! Most significantly, God is good, all the time.

My favourite bible verse to share with everyone from

Joshua 1:9:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.


Leen said...

All honour and praise go to the Lord. Let God takes all the glory and not CA.

I'm glad you have grown so much from CA. I myself learned so much from CA too. Indeed, it is the best thing that can happen to anyone in INTEC and S.A. ^___^

gloria :) said...

Helen..that's a really encouraging post.. I'm touched by your testimony.

I still remember one night you shared about your dream in cell group during our early days in intec. it was pretty long ago; im not sure if it's the same as this.

Praise God for speaking to you through dreams and visions. Praise God for His strength in times of weaknesses.. Continue to trust in Him each day and let God lead us day by day! I'll continue to pray for you!